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I firmly hold the belief that it is always possible to transform. I believe you can in fact instruct a veteran learner, on the condition that the old dog is open-minded and willing to learn. So long as the old dog is ready to confess when it was in error, and endeavor to transform into a more enlightened self.

Well, admittedly, I am that seasoned creature. And the trick I am trying to learn, although I am set in my ways? It is an important one, something I have grappled with, often, for my whole existence. I have been trying … to grow less fearful of the common huntsman. Pardon me, all the remaining arachnid species that exist; I have to be realistic about my capacity for development as a human. The focus must remain on the huntsman because it is large, commanding, and the one I run into regularly. Including on three separate occasions in the previous seven days. Within my dwelling. You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head and grimacing as I type.

It's unlikely I’ll ever reach “enthusiast” status, but my project has been at least attaining a standard level of composure about them.

A deep-seated fear of spiders since I was a child (as opposed to other children who adore them). Growing up, I had ample brothers around to guarantee I never had to engage with any directly, but I still freaked out if one was clearly in the same room as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family still asleep, and trying to deal with a spider that had crawled on to the family room partition. I “managed” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, practically in the adjoining space (for fear that it pursued me), and emptying half a bottle of insect spray toward it. The chemical cloud missed the spider, but it did reach and irritate everyone in my house.

With the passage of time, whoever I was dating or living with was, by default, the bravest of spiders between us, and therefore responsible for handling the situation, while I produced frightened noises and beat a hasty retreat. In moments of solitude, my tactic was simply to exit the space, turn off the light and try to ignore its being before I had to return.

Not long ago, I stayed at a friend’s house where there was a notably big huntsman who made its home in the sill, primarily lingering. To be less fearful, I imagined the spider as a female entity, a one of the girls, in our circle, just relaxing in the sun and listening to us yap. It sounds extremely dumb, but it had an impact (to some degree). Put another way, the deliberate resolution to become less phobic did the trick.

Be that as it may, I've endeavored to maintain this practice. I contemplate all the sensible justifications not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders are not dangerous to humans. I know they consume things like flies and mosquitoes (my mortal enemies). It is well-established they are one of the planet's marvelous, benign creatures.

Alas, they do continue to walk like that. They travel in the utterly horrifying and borderline immoral way possible. The vision of their many legs carrying them at that frightening pace induces my primordial instincts to enter panic mode. They ostensibly only have eight legs, but I maintain that multiplies when they move.

But it is no fault of their own that they have frightening appendages, and they have just as much right to be where I am – if not more. I’ve found that employing the techniques of working to prevent have a visceral panic reaction and run away when I see one, trying to remain composed and breathing steadily, and consciously focusing about their good points, has proven somewhat effective.

Simply due to the reality that they are fuzzy entities that move hastily at an alarming rate in a way that causes me nocturnal distress, does not justify they merit my intense dislike, or my girly screams. I can admit when fear has clouded my judgment and motivated by baseless terror. I’m not sure I’ll ever attain the “trapping one under a cup and escorting it to the garden” stage, but miracles happen. A bit of time remains for this seasoned learner yet.