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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal habits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful act.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {